In which Roz and Layla escape the chill, view ruins, and cycle through the countryside

We left you whilst we were in a cold cabin on a mountain. I coaxed the dying fire into life in an unexpectedly Boy Scout type fashion, and then challenged Layla to a game of Scrabble. I unfortunately made a child's error of helping her when she got stuck with one set of letters. My helping gave her more than 50 points...and I ended up losing the game. Not that I remain bitter at all. 

Next morning, we awoke distinctly chilly and were enthusiastic about getting out into the sunshine. A quick tasty breakfast and the we were off on a hike along a mountain woodland path. The path was delightful, if disappointingly undulating.  (Why do people always make undulating sound like a good thing, when what it really means is "there are going to be numerous bits where you are going uphill but all your efforts will be in vain as you'll then be going downhill"?). 8km later and we found ourselves in another village where we had been told we were going to get some kind of local massage. The local massage turned out to be a local sauna, and Layla doesn't really enjoy this sort of thing. So we negotiated, instead, for another local experience. We were unclear on what this would entail, but heard the word "massage" and "not hot" so what was to be lost. We were taken to a house in the middle of nowhere where we were greeted by a very bouncy and licky small dog and a cheery old lady who spoke no English. She sat us down in her living room (with the dog) and went off to get ready. Then she brought in a large pot of flowers which she put in the middle of the room. And then she left to get two eggs and a glass of water. She returned and indicated that she was ready. I unfairly pushed Layla into a standing position and indicated she would go first. I then had the delight of watching Layla being beaten with a large bunch of flowers and then being "massaged" with an egg which the old lady rubbed with surprising vigor all over her body. I was clear that the lady would have been offended if I'd laughed...and in any event Layla soon had her revenge as she sat there smiling smugly whilst I was beaten and then egg massaged. At the end she broke the eggs into the glass of water, pointing to the toxins and evil eye she'd removed. 

A surprisingly delicious roadside lunch proved something of an anticlimax but was nonetheless enjoyable. We then managed to hop on a crowded bus which took us cheaply and efficiently back to Oaxaca. Incongruously, I watched the Mexican scenery whizz by whilst listening to Fielding's Tom Jones (set in 18th century England) whilst Layla slept, but all in all a relatively pleasant time was had. Back in Oaxaca, our first stop was a shower, to get rid of the flower remnants (and indeed because neither of us had fancied a cold shower that morning). From there we went back to our favourite cafe/bookstore (and had an interesting interlude phoning man who is doing a job that I might be taking and then speculating about what that turn in our life would be like). From there we went to a very well reviewed vegetarian restaurant which would have been lovely he it not been entirely deserted and somewhat spartan. Nonetheless, we pressed on and had a brief meal before retiring to a nice nearby bar for a beer. 

Next morning, after breakfast we hopped in a taxi to go to some ruins at a place called Monte Alban - the remains of the first known city state, perched at the top of a hill. I expected the site to be entirely overrun, and so it was a delightful surprise to find only a scattering of tourists. A delightful two hours passed with us rambling over ruins, up ancient steps and examining the odd carving. We stopped midway for a read in the shade and this too was entirely delightful. 

Back in Oaxaca, we had lunch in the main square and read our books. We contemplated afterwards that we didn't feel entirely brilliant (too much food? After effects of beating with flowers? Stress of potential new job?). We therefore went on a gentle stroll through the streets (mainly in hopes of finding a swimming costume for me - an aspiration that was disappointed) before returning to our hotel to sit on the nice rooftop area and read. As evening approached, neither of us fancied food, so we decided to head into the suburbs of Oaxaca to go to the cinema to the see the new Hunger Games. We arrived early (uncertain whether it would end up entirely sold out or not) and so having bought tickets went to a nearby cafe for a mint tea. The film was good, albeit involving too much peril for my taste. It's always fun to see films in a foreign country and this was no exception - the audience was struck by laughter at inexplicable moments, and the Spanish subtitles didn't look that off to us...

Next morning, we awoke with an enthusiasm for breakfast and went to our favourite cafe again. Then, it was time for a bike tour. It turned out to be our most delightful day so far. A short drive took us into the mountains, where we got off in a picture perfect village which was home to one of the biggest trees in the world (surrounded by crazy topiary bushes). Then we hopped out our bikes and headed off, cycling on dirt tracks through tiny villages and past fields, sharing the path only with passing cows and an occasional donkey-drawn cart. The  temperature was glorious with a perfect blue sky and hills silhouetted all across the horizon. It was entirely delightful and our biking guide (who later turned out to have competed in the Olympics) was entirely kind about the slightly slower pace than one of us wished to go at. (I'm definitely not pointing a finger at Layla...) We then had a a stop for a weaving demonstration. Over the years, we have seen quite a few of these but this was probably one of the best, including a demo of how to create different colour dyes ("it's like magic" one of us said). Then more cycling interspersed with stops for delicious fruit. Then, back into the van for a drive high up into the mountains. Here we had lunch (our best meal in Mexico so far, with beautiful quesadillas made in front of us). And then on to Hierve el Agua, a place Layla visited ten or more years ago. Here we were left to our own devices and we went hiking to beautiful pool which were on the top of remarkable petrified waterfalls. Though the hike was more undulating than either of us would have liked, it was also beautiful. Layla ended up swimming in one of the pools. I had contemplated doing so (despite my lack of swimming costume - I'd cobbled together something that would keep me decent) but the water really was very chilly...and I mentally justified this decision by pointing out someone needed to keep an eye on our bag. We hiked back to the van afterwards (Layla shivering). Our drive home was pleasing enough, with an interlude involving giving a lift to an ancient Mexican who wanted to go to a hospital clinic and a stop to see Mezcal being made. (Mezcal,is the local spirit - a cousin of tequila I think.) Back in Oaxaca, we went back for a shower (and for Layla to defrost) before going out for a light dinner in a very cheery restaurant which was full of people. And then bed: an early start to return to Mexico City tomorrow. 

In which Layla and Roz eat guacamole, hike, and realize the Mexican mountains are chilly

By Layla 

We touched down in Mexico City not quite sure what to expect. I'd been there ten years ago, and Roz never had - but it doesn't get the best of press. So we were delighted to find the city looked charming as we whizzed through it (or rather crawled - the traffic is unpleasant) en route to our hotel in the pretty Condesa District. We dropped our stuff and took another taxi, this one to Frida Kahlo's blue house, where she lived and worked. The queue was crazy but eventually we got in for a cup of tea, a stroll round the pretty gardens, and then a walk through the house itself, complete with furniture, wheelchair, and her actual paints. It was all quite cool. Then we walked a few blocks away to Trotsky's house, which we admired from the outside. A stroll down to the Coyocan area's main square was atmospheric and a bit frantic, but it did not produce guacamole, so we took a taxi back to Condesa and indulged in a pre-prandial guac and chips and some pretentious locally brewed craft beer, before later heading to a fancy and pleasant restaurant for mohitos, cheese and salad. 

Up very bright and early, we headed back to the airport, bound for Oaxaca (we'd planned to go straight after arrival but flights only go in the mornings) and we arrived there in time for lunch - a far cry from the last time I got there on a million-hour long distance bus. Oaxaca is sunny and charming in an Antigua, Guatemala sort of way. Pretty cathedrals and art galleries abound. After checking in and sorting out a bike trip for later in the week, we fought our way through the stressfully busy zocalo market (zocalo is a town square here), onto an attractive pedestrian street, and had lunch in a cute little courtyard attached to a bookshop. 

Onwards after lunch to the contemporary art museum which was okay but not thrilling, then I took Roz on this big walk up a thousand very steep steps for no particular reason... The view from the top was pretty... And then, having climbed down again, we wandered around a very attractive cobbled area with pastel colored buildings, before returning to the zocalo in search of a beer. We failed and Roz fell over something and whacked her knee. We limped back to our hotel, dripping blood, and spent the rest of the afternoon having drinks and reading our books on the hotel patio amid a hundred tweeting birds in a vast array of cages. 

That night I rather failed to find a good, open restaurant in what's known as a foodie town. We went to La Catedral and had Oaxacan fare. The cheese was delicious. The corn tamale was to my taste - all the more for me. But then we had 'mole amarillo', a famous type of sauce usually served over beef, apparently. We said we were vegetarian. This resulted in us being given a plate of sauce with nothing in it, save a single tiny potato... And we were charged the same price as for the beef version! Huffily we returned to the zocalo where everyone seemed to be out, watching boys do crazy tricks on BMX bikes and that sort of thing. And then headed home to sleep, to the tones of cheering crowds below. 

Up early again (5:30 every day, inexplicably), we got breakfast in the same place as lunch the previous day, our new local. Then we headed to a tour office for instructions, trekked to an obscure bus station, and caught a shared car to Llano Grande, holding more people than cars are designed to hold... There are a collection of little villages in the Sierra Norte, the mountains near Oaxaca, who have banded together to offer ecotourism experiences. We had decided to do a trek between them. We were assigned a cabin in the woods, and then set off with our guide on a 3 hour hike. It turned out to be quite a tricky hike, uphill with the altitude making me wheeze (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!) but it was fun going through the pine forest, and there were some cool views. 

Afterwards we went to a little restaurant for quite a nice lunch involving eggs and avocado. And then, having acquired some beer, ventured to our cabin. It is truly in a crazy, secluded, off the beaten path location but we finally made it and lounged in hammock chairs overlooking the woods... Til it started to get cold. To be aware: the temperature in Oaxaca is not similar to the temperature in the mountains. We retired inside to sit on our bed. Then under the covers. Then to go out for dinner, donned every single clothing item we'd brought with us, including pajamas. Brrrrrr. Luckily one of the guides came to make a fire for us and we followed him in the pitch blackness through the woods to dinner in the same restaurant. Which was rather disappointing as well as deserted and freezing. But we had a cheery dinner of cheese quesadillas and hot chocolate anyway! Before holding hands and gripping the torch function of my iPhone and setting off in the pitch black wood to our cabin. We reached it just as the fire was dying. But then as I've been writing this blog, Roz has magically made it come to life again and it is roaring merrily now. Hooray! I'm still planning to wear every item of clothing to bed but I'm not fearing hypothermia. Tomorrow: hiking to the next village. 

In which Roz and Layla drink cocktails, and go to Fringe Festival in Victoria, and Bumbershoot Festival in Seattle

By Roz

It was undeniably cool to arrive in Victoria by helicopter. Less cool was dragging our suitcases from the shuttle bus down various deserted roads into the suburbs of Victoria and wondering what we'd been thinking when we'd booked this AirBnB flat "near Cook St Village"'.. A thought that became all the more pressing when I realized that our flat was up three narrow flights of stairs. There is a lesson in here somewhere. Probably to pack less. But the flat turned out to be lovely inside and at various points over the next few days staying in it, we mused vigorously on how to emulate its coziness and general delightfulness. Without success I fear. 

Having dumped our stuff we headed out to acquire groceries and for a mini explore of the area. It turned out that we had parked ourselves in a suburb which could be described as a village if you interpret that as meaning "has a shop or two within a ten minute walk". Alas. We picked up groceries and more medications for me (I am fast becoming a very bad patient, and require Layla to think of medications to fix me, given her doctoring background: this is proving an expensive hobby on this holiday at least). This accomplished, we headed out to dinner at the delightful Little Jumbo, which turned out to be one of the top 30 restaurants in Canada. Slightly hard to find, with cool lighting and terrific cocktails, it proved to be a delightful introduction to Vancouver Island. 

Next morning the weather looked gloomy, but our depression at this was soon dissipated by the discovery that our visit to Victoria co-incided with the Victoria Fringe Festival. Layla handed me multiple apple devices and a credit card and instructed me to "book things". Somewhat restrainedly, I only booked three shows but musing on the options in our delightful flat almost distracted me from moaning about my cold and bites, and thus was a sensible ploy by Layla. We headed out for an embarrassingly early lunch which involved walking to the other bit of the "village". Lunch was delicious - and in a surprisingly popular venue - and we meandered from there downtown taking a very circuitous route along the water. This all proved picturesque and lovely but in true English fashion I then began to demand afternoon tea. We popped into the Empress hotel - which is famed as the place to go for afternoon tea - and then fled when we heard it was going to cost us $60 each. We ended up on the hotel's verandah overlooking the sea. Tea was provided (with the tea bag already in the teapot - Canadians having learned this key skill from us in a way Americans have resisted). Also cake. And I very much enjoyed the opportunity to focus on my book (the new Sarah Waters) whilst Layla finally finished Steinbeck's East of Eden. All in all very enjoyable. 

From there we headed back to see our first fringe festival show (in an area quite close to our flat, which we saw was described as in the "boonies" by one reviewer). It was a one woman show about roller derby and though not earth shattering, was very jolly. We went from there to an Indian restaurant for dinner and from there to our second fringe show. This proved to have been a poor pick. It was well done, if you like somewhat facile physical farcical comedy, but wasn't to my taste. With my cold feeling ever more oppressive I nudged Layla and persuaded her to make a speedy exit at an opportune moment. We headed back to our flat and watched a jolly episode or two of Community on Netflix before retiring to bed. 

Next morning I felt little better and Layla had begun sneezing and rain had made its appearance. So we took this as fate telling us to settle down in our lovely flat for the morning to read our books. We eventually headed out for a huge egg-focussed lunch downtown which also involved a little Fringe-based bonding with a fellow diner. From there we went to hire bikes and headed out on the Galloping Goose trail into the countryside. This was often delightful - mainly flat and sometimes in countryside and sometimes by the water. But. Then - after around 15km - we found ourselves on a trail surrounded on both sides by a freeway. We looked at the map and realized this would continue for a while and so decided to beat a hasty retreat. Or as hasty a retreat as one can when needing to traverse 15 or so km. 

Having dropped off our bikes, we headed to Chapters, a nice looking bookshop that I had noticed. We browsed, felt guilty at not buying books (but the DC library is so good!) and then settled down in the bookshop cafe for a tea and a read. Or, in Layla's case, a cake-pop and a snooze. After this delightful interlude we headed back to Little Jumbo for an early dinner before our final fringe show. The restaurant was as lovely as ever - and we were greeted as regulars - and we therefore felt not too bad to be revisiting a place we'd been to before. And I felt the cocktails were definitely medicinal. 

Our final fringe show (The Middle of Everywhere) proved to be really excellent: set at a bus stop (what could be better?!), it was almost exclusively mime, and all the more impressive given that the performers wore masks and managed to convey far more story than I could have imagined possible. An excellent conclusion to our interlude in Victoria (despite Layla's cold declaring victory in her battle to fight it off). 

Next morning, we were up fairly early - to pack and so that Layla could rehearse one of the upcoming performers in Perfect Liars Club - and we were then on the ferry to Seattle. This proved entirely delightful - what's not to like about a ferry from one country to another. And the mimosas were a pleasant addition...

And now by Layla

We were delighted to find a taxi waiting for us and before long we were in our downtown Seattle AirBnB apartment, which was quite cool. And then we were dashing out towards the cinema near the Space Needle - you see we'd identified a cool short films event from the Seattle International Film Festival. What their website failed to mention was that said cinema was within the walls of a big annual arts festival in Seattle called Bumbershoot. Much angst ensued, as we scrabbled for a plan B... It was already 4pm on the last full day of our holiday: we NEEDED a good plan. We looked up the festival and found it was quite full of good stuff, including The Moth. So we took a deep breath, bought the tickets, and headed to the films, only to find they were full. This was in fact the theme of Bumbershoot: stand in line for hours if you actually want to see anything. We failed on the films. We failed on two comedy shows. We managed to get in to see Tim Robbins, a local author clearly much beloved in Seattle (he wrote Even Cowgirls Get the Blues) who was quite cheery, reading the first page of each of his eleven published books. And then, after debating the merits of hiding in the toilet to sneak into the next show, Roz left early, zoomed into line, and secured our spots at what turned out to be the most expensive Moth show I've ever attended. But nevertheless, it was really good, with three thought provoking stories. We were very happy we'd managed to get in. 

After that, we fought our way out of Bumbershoot, and onwards to a really cool line of bars and restaurants which we had failed to encounter during our previous week in Seattle. Our destination: Bathtub gin, a cool little speakeasy bar down an alley. We had some delicious cocktails, then, irritated by the laddish drunk men trying to talk to us, decamped to RobRoy, another cocktail bar, then to a third establishment to add potatoes and ice cream to our repertoire. During the evening my cold was getting worse and worse, so I can't say I was too sorrowful when our final holiday night ended and we were obliged to collapse into bed. 

This morning we had difficulty finding anywhere for brunch thanks to it being Labor Day, but finally sated, we grabbed our suitcases and took an Uber to... Lake Union! Our flight might have been at 2pm, but the sun had popped out from behind the clouds and paddleboards awaited! Sure enough, we stepped onto the boards and started paddling up towards the scenic gasworks park. Which was when we started to realize the lake wasn't quite as relaxing as other lakes, thanks to the large number of boats going by, either trying to run us over or throwing us into waves in their wake. I've never been on such a precarious paddle! As we shrieked and dropped to our knees to avoid being unceremoniously dumped in the probably-toxic water of Lake Union, we looked back across the Seattle skyline. "Ah, isn't this idyllic," said Roz. Just before another huge wake threatened to topple us! 

But sadly all good things must come to an end. And so we paddled precariously back to the dock, called another Uber, and headed for the airport, homeward bound. Another amazing holiday!

BOOKS READ WHILST ON HOLIDAY

Roz: East of Eden (John Steinbeck), Anne of Green Gables (LM Montgomery), The Bees (Laline Paul), We Were Liars (E Lockhart), Euphoria (Lily King), Restoration (Rose Tremain), Crazy Rich Asians (Kevin Kwan), Music for Torching (A.M. Holmes), The Paying Guests (Sarah Waters). And substantial progress made with A Place of Greater Safety (Hilary Mantel) and Empress Dowager Cixi (Jung Chang). 

Layla: The Bees (Laline Paull), Euphoria (Lily King), The Provincial Lady (EM Delafield), Colourless Tsukuru Tazaki (Haruki Murakami), We Were Liars (E Lockhart), The Fault in our Stars (John Green), East of Eden (John Steinbeck), We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves (Karen Joy Fowler) and substantial progress into The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters. 

In which Layla and Roz emulate hipsters, race to the centre of a maze, and travel in style

By Layla

The sun was shining through our floor-to-ceiling windows as we leapt from bed for our first full day in Vancouver. Alas our apartment was not located next to a coffeeshop or supermarket so I went for a wander and eventually returned with a bagel. We breakfasted on our 32nd floor balcony, looking out over the city, before catching a bus to the gay-ish West End, in time for our city bike tour. 

We always love bike tours as a way to get a handle on a new big city, though this one turned out to be less illuminating... But still fun. We headed into Stanley Park, which is this huge city park that combines beach and forest, and tons of beautiful bike trails. We cycled round the 'sea wall' with fantastic views of the city and mountains and sparkling water and queues of container ships waiting for their slot at the port. We saw totem poles, and quirky statues, and a beaver dam. Then we zoomed out of the park and along the waterfront to a beach called English Bay, before catching a very tiny ferry across to Granville Island. Previously an industrial zone, it's now an artistic enclave with studios, shops, and a big market where we had lunch. Next, along yet another waterfront, False Creek - Vancouver seems to be mostly made of waterfronts! Past the Olympic Village from 2010, into a very pretty Chinese Garden, through Gastown, and back to the shop. A fun cycle, though we both got a little sunstroke. We bought some groceries and headed back home to recover (aka eat crisps and drink wine). 

Duly recovered, we found a bus and headed off to a more obscure part of town. Past some suburbs, it suddenly appeared: VanDusen Botanical Gardens. I have mixed feelings about this trip. On the one hand, these are probably my favourite botanical gardens I've ever visited. Beautifully landscaped, waterfalls and lakes, interesting sculptures, and an absolutely brilliant maze (many of you will be familiar with my penchant for a maze). It took ages for us to find the centre. When we did it competitively, Roz beat me by miles. Great fun. But sadly every insect in the park found its way to Roz and bit her all over. Each bite swelled to the size of her head. And she has spent the rest of the holiday in itchy pain. But at least the maze was amazing! 

After the gardens, we climbed up to the Queen Elizabeth Park viewpoint and had a fantastic panorama of the entire city, before descending to Vancouver's hipster Mecca, Main Street. Interspersed with pharmacies (for antihistamines), and Chinese establishment was every craft brewery, gallery, yarn shop, and cool coffeeshop that a hipster could desire. We tracked down Shameful Tikki Room, a very cool cocktail den, with some superlative cocktails in a quirky and charming setting, with Bride of Frankenstein playing on the little television screens. If I owned a bar I wouldn't mind it being like this. Then, on a whim, we decided to go to Acorn which turns out to have all these accolades as the top vegetarian restaurant in the country. We splashed out on an array of deliciousness, and got the bus home feeling very proud of ourselves - and very hip. 

The next day I'd slept okay but Roz was miserable, covered all over with bites, and a new sore throat to match. Any energetic plans had to be shelved and instead we went to Revolver, a very exposed brick-ish coffeeshop, where Roz was able to indulge in a coffee flight! We've had wine flights, beer flights, cheese flights, cocktail flights... But a coffee flight was a new and hilarious innovation. One type of coffee done three ways (drip, aero press and clever press, in case you wish to replicate!). It rejuvenated Roz enough that she was ready for some non-mosquito fun. And thus we went to the Vancouver Gallery of Art. 

We'd read some books by Douglas Coupland but hadn't realized he is an artist too. The museum had a big Coupland exhibition, and it was really, unexpectedly excellent. We loved much of his intriguing exhibits, which all comment on how we are in the 21st century. But by the end Roz looked like she might be about to die, so I left her in an uninspiring French coffeeshop with a sandwich while I went on a medication expedition. Having filled her with every decongestant, antihistamine and steroid cream I could get my hands on, we returned to the gallery to see the permanent collection. We were particularly taken with a Canadian artist called Michael Snow. 

Then we decided on an expedition to North Vancouver (a separate city!) by sea bus. So we boarded and crossed the water, to find ice cream and beer flights. Delicious. There wasn't much else though, so after a suitable amount of consumption, we returned home to gather our energy for the evening. Or Roz did - I ran around trying to find a fax machine for a work thing. 

Heading out, we had a half hour walk through Yaletown to a ferry terminal where we boarded and headed off to Granville Island again, to see Vancouver's improv troupe. First we had a quick dinner in the market and wandered around the arty establishments, then we procured some Granville Island craft beer, and then we settled down to what was a very funny and impressive improv show - a fantastic evening. Shame Roz felt like death and yet got dragged home on another ferry followed by another half hour walk... And a sleepless night for one of us. Not me. 

On our final Vancouver day, we dropped off our luggage, coated Roz in insect repellent, then headed to Stanley Park again, this time on foot. We strolled along the scenic sea wall til we got to the TeaHouse, a posh and lovely establishment where we indulged in mimosas and lunch. And then we walked back through the forest, huge trees all around us. During our bike tour they told us that there's a small movement for the North West parts of Canada and the US to form their own country called Cascadia, based on their tall trees that are nowhere else on the continent. We certainly could see the resemblance to Forest Park in Portland. It was a lovely walk. 

And then we took the bus to... The Heliport! You see, after Vancouver we'd planned to go to Victoria. I thought the ferry was an easy and pleasant option. But it turns out to be 50 miles out of town! Then we found that a helicopter goes straight from Vancouver harbour. Then we found that they had a special discount on Twitter. And then we realized that we'd both always wanted to ride in a helicopter. And we were in!

As a commuter mode of transport, the helicopter is surely one of the coolest available. We were given our earplugs, hopped into our window seats, and soon were smoothly pottering above Vancouver. We waved goodbye to it as we went out over the water to find views that demanded photographs. Half an hour later we touched down in Victoria. 

In which Layla and Roz travel by train, ski lift, paddleboard and trampoline

By Layla

After a frustrating 3 hour delay at the train station, finally we were off! Champagne glasses clinked in the observation car as our overnight VIArail train from Jasper to Vancouver started trundling through the Rockies. Roz and I both dream romantically of long distance train travel so we were fizzing with excitement. First lesson: people don't sit on their allocated seats but rather in the glass observation car or coffee car, where the views of the mountains were very cool. Second observation: there are drinks and snacks aplenty. Third: try not to get the late seating for dinner unless you want to eat at 10pm. Fourth: if you go to bed right after dinner, and are placed next to a snorer, there may be no sleep for you. Essentially, we had a fabulous time on the train. The views of the Rocky Mountains were spectacular, and we loved the novelty of sit-down meals on the train. Shame about Roz's lack of sleep. In the middle of the night she apparently stumbled from her berth to an empty cabin to escape the snorer... Only for a poor crew member to climb into that cabin bed in hope of a quick nap! It was not a restful night for her, and the arrival to Vancouver was a bit delayed, and it took ages to get our bags, but soon we were off on the Skytrain for a mad dash across town to the pick up point for our bus to our next destination: Whistler! (To add to the excitement, I'd failed to book it in advance...)

Whistler turns out to be less than 2 hours away by bus and we found it a surprisingly delightful little town. While Banff and Jasper felt like trading posts set up to tend to the adventurers passing through, Whistler is a town built with intent. The main business is skiing - though mountain biking is big. The town itself centers around an attractive pedestrianized shopping/restaurant precinct called the "Village Stroll", from which hiking and biking trails spread out, and a gondola sweeps you to the top of looming Whistler Mountain. After dumping our stuff in our pleasant hotel, we leapt in a taxi to Wayside Park, on the banks of pretty Lake Alta, and hired paddleboards. Next up: a delightful hour of paddling along a sunny lake surrounded by mountains. Followed by guacamole and chips on a golf club patio. Hooray. 

We had a tasty Indian meal that night and finished up with a jacuzzi which inexplicably was right next to our hotel room bed! An excellent introduction to Whistler. Then to bed - much appreciated after Roz's train sleep fiasco. 

The next morning we hired bicycles and set off along the Valley Trail, 40km of paved-ish walking and bike trails from Whistler. It was really lovely. We cycled past lake after lake, under the scenic mountain skyline, and stopped for lunch on an extremely scenic restaurant patio overlooking Green Lake and lots of mountains. After lots more cycling we rested at a little beautifully manicured park/beach area and watched the locals frolic in the sun, before cycling back to town, returning our bikes, and getting on a bus to what seemed the middle of nowhere. 

When we got off at a deserted roadside I admit I had my doubts about Roz's planning... But then we turned a corner and found ourselves far from touristy Whistler, at two great attractions: Whistler Brewing Company, and the main focus of our expedition, Bounce! A quick fueling at WBC (and a game of Battleships), then we entered what can only be described as a trampoline extravaganza. We were admitted to a huge, high-ceiling end room with padded walls and about 10 trampolines. Little ones. Huge Olympic-ish one. Ones angled on the wall at 45 degrees. It was sort of set up like a skateboard thing, and clearly many of its customers were skateboarders. Luckily for the first hour we were its only customers and we bounced up and down and around with delight. Then proper people arrived and showed us how it was really done, flying through the air, leaping from trampoline to trampoline, running along the vertical walls like they were in a video game, and essentially being rather cooler than Roz and I whose main daredevil trick was a seat drop (bouncing on one's bottom...). 

We loved watching the cool kids, and eventually I was able to drag Roz away (having not done fun stuff like this as a kid, her delight and attention span for these things are virtually unlimited!). We returned to the lovely bar for beer tasting flights and copious packets of crisps, before returning to town for tacos, Netflix, and weird in-room jacuzzi to avoid trampoline-induced muscle pain...

Said pain was of course inevitable, but regardless, the next morning we set off up the mountain. Whistler has tons of gondolas and ski lifts for ski season, and during the summer you can go up for views and hiking and restaurants at the top of the mountain. The first gondola took half an hour, enclosed and pretty, and we had a mini-hike at the top before taking a second lift, this one a proper ski lift, to the very summit of Whistler Mountain. We both found this inordinately exciting, feet dangling as we climbed high above the glaciers below, before stepping out to 360 degree views of beautiful snow-capped peaks. 

We decided to do a little hike to the absolute peak. Halfway through what turned out to be a bit of a chilly rock scramble, Roz pointed out that her sprained ankle hadn't magically recovered, and we made it back to the ski lift without doing anything too crazy. On the way back down our ski lift malfunctioned and we had an exciting few minutes dangling immobile in the air before the power returned, we made it back, and headed on our next lift: the peak to peak gondola between two mountains - apparently the longest of its kind. We soared across the sky, with fantastic views. Then, noting the time, decided to skip the hiking options and head down the mountain on two open air and equally exciting chair lifts. What a really cool experience. 

We had lunch at a delicious restaurant, Elements, before dashing to the purpose of our hurrying: all aboard the Rocky Mountaineer from Whistler to Vancouver! We'd extravagantly splashed out on this train experience, essentially the posh version of VIArail, and were unimpressed by it in terms of poshness (plastic cutlery and aeroplane food did not dazzle) but the views were an absolute delight, moving from mountain scenery to forest to a huge sparkling lake to the beautiful Vancouver skyline. We sat in the outdoor observation car and loved it. 

By 8pm we were ensconced in our Vancouver home - a very cool apartment on the 32nd floor of an apartment block with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out over the city. And from there it was a hop, skip and a jump to the cool Gastown area where we settled down in a fab hipster wine/cheese establishment called Salt for wine flights, cheese and dessert. And a horribly inconvenient suspicion that we want to live in Vancouver!

In which Roz and Layla walk and walk and walk (and drink tea)

By Roz

Next morning I blithely set our alarms for a little later (7.30 - the luxury) confident that our bus pick-up wasn't till 8.45. It was thus disappointing to receive a tetchy phone call whilst we were eating our breakfast informing us that our pick-up was at 8.15 and we were 20 minutes late and we were keeping everyone waiting. This kind of error is most unlike me and I felt mortified as we ran along the road to catch it. 

Mortification diminished however as we left Banff and headed through the mountains to a place called Lake Louise (attractive mountains puts things in proportion). It's known for being a beautiful area and for having been named after Queen Victoria's fourth daughter (who very ungratefully never visited). We were the only people to hop off the bus the (everyone else was heading to the ice fields to walk on a glacier) and thus I felt enabled to force Layla to wait an unfeasibly long time whilst I got a cup of tea (which was of no interest to her). Thus fortified we began a walk through the forest to the highest teahouse in Canada (or possibly North America - I should have read the guidebook more carefully). More tea, you say? Why yes, what could be more appropriate for an English girl abroad! 

The hike up was lovely, other than disappointingly uphill. This could have been anticipated by the canny hiker. Sadly I was focussed on the tea and only worked this out half way up. This is all the more unfortunate for me as Layla and I have a deal that I carry the rucksack uphill and she carries it when we are in the flat or going downhill. When I made this deal I thought it would work out well for me.  Alas I was wrong. We passed increasingly fat chipmunks (which gave me much hope for the glory of the teahouse) and eventually arrived at a beautifully blue lake overlooked by the famed teahouse. (Lakes in Canada are proving to be bluer than I ever thought water could be which is both lovely and puzzling.) We'd been supplied with sandwiches by our tour company and we consumed these fast before settling down in the teahouse for tea and suchlike (the suchlike obviously covers a multitude of food sins) whilst we read our books. I was captivated by mine - set in Papua New Guinea - and eventually Layla had to drag me away from my seat to walk back.  Alas we'd been seduced by the idea of doing a loop to get back to Lake Louise. This loop - though delightful - proved to have more uphill than I would have liked (including going up and over a little mountain in our path), but it finished walking along the brilliant blue Lake Louise and surrounded by mountains which was very lovely. We found that all of this had taken far longer than we'd anticipated and by the time we got back, our bus pickup was only 15 minutes away. We thus ditched my fantasy of scones and tea in the fancy Fairmont Hotel in favour of crisps and a beer. Not a terrible exchange... Back in Banff we collapsed on our beds before going out for a pizza.

We woke up on Wednesday conscious that it was our last day in Banff. I looked woeful till Layla reminded me that we are visiting 8 other places on this holiday so our trip is far from over.  But there's clearly no better way to ward off almost woe than going to a mad hot springs up a mountain and so that is exactly what we did. We got the bus up and were slightly disconcerted to be the only people getting off the bus at this stop (can it be that not everyone thinks a random hot spring is the way to spend a morning?) but went in regardless. It turned out to be very cheery (if not exactly popular) and it was fun to be in an outdoor hot spring at the top of a mountain. Having been boiled in a lobster-esque fashion, we got the bus down again and returned to my favourite coffee shop to read and have lunch. Back at our hotel too early for the pick-up for our bus to our next destination - Jasper - we started worrying that the pick-up wouldn't turn up or indeed that we'd got the time wrong (again). Alas the former turned out to be true and there was too much pfaff for my taste before we found ourselves on a (now delayed) bus to Jasper. But the bus journey turned out to be fun, taking us through ice fields (apparently one of the most beautiful drives in Canada) and past bears (three - including two cubs) and some elks. We eventually arrived into Jasper in the early evening, having found the bus much more fun than we'd anticipated. Having checked into our guesthouse (run by an over-enthusiastic Welsh woman who was very excited to find we were from the UK and who said I seemed too outgoing - did this mean loud? - to be a diplomat) we went out for a delicious, if not cheap, dinner. On the way home, we popped into a supermarket to buy breakfast for the morning and I remembered my love of ice wine - acquired on our first trip to Canada. So we acquired a couple of miniatures and headed home to enjoy them. 

Next morning our plan was a hike in the nearby environs and then to settle down in a cafe to read. This plan would have worked well had we not managed to misunderstand the length of the hiking endeavor we had settled on. We had our doubts as the cab drove for 20 or so minutes into the mountains before depositing us at a trailhead (our plan being to walk back into town from there). But we stifled these and set off past more beautiful blue lakes (with an occasional bit of singing to ward off bears). 2 and a half hours in I felt glad we had acquired lunch before setting off and we consumed it. 4 hours in and I was getting a bit tired (not least because there was more uphill than I had hoped). But the views were lovely so when, at hour 4 and a half, Layla suggested we add an extra loop on to take in another lake which had a hotel with tea, I said yes. Alas this proved rash because not 5 minutes in I managed to half sprain my ankle. It started puffing up in an unfortunate fashion, but we couldn't really think what else to do except continue on (though ha, I got out of carrying the rucksack!). We arrived at the lake and I bunged my foot in the exceptionally cold water for a while (whilst eating an ice cream Layla had acquired). We then headed up to the hotel and acquired apple pie, cocktails and tea. The staff were bizarrely worried about my ankle and a first aiding security guard was dispatched ("code orange") to fix it. She was sweet (and came from London) though somewhat incompetent with her bandaging. But we fixed the bandage after she had gone, and when Layla made me walk home - another hour of walking - afterwards I was very grateful for its support. Back at our guesthouse, we collapsed exhausted on the sofa and swore off walking so far again. But of course, it wasn't long before we were out again, this time for dinner. This was a jolly affair (punctuated by me taking painkillers). Back at the end of the evening, we drank a little more ice wine and investigated VPN options in an attempt to watch an episode of the UK's Location Location Location, which our friends were on. We were unsuccessfully but went to bed determined to try again in the morning. 

And so it was that this morning after a not so delightful chat with my mother and packing we found ourselves watching our friends and envying the home they found to buy on the programme. From there, the very nice husband / co-owner of the guesthouse gave us a lift to the station so we could check our bags in ahead of our train journey (overnight!) to Vancouver. And we are now sat in a lovely coffeeshop, drinking tea and not walking. Hooray. 

In which Layla and Roz hone their bear combat skills and take a lot of steps

By Layla

The looks on people's faces when we told them we were going to the Canadian Rockies on holiday was mostly incredulity: "but usually you go somewhere weird, and this time you're going somewhere everyone dreams of going!"

Sure enough, Canada is close, and the hype about the Canadian Rockies is persuasive... And it's beautifully doable without a car... So we took the plunge, and tried not to look at the rain-saturated weather forecast. Flying into Calgary, we only really had time to glance at the city and it didn't really enchant. But no matter: it was a mere staging post. The next day, in true holiday style, I set our alarm for 5:15am and before we knew it we were on the bus to Banff.  

What a difference an hour makes. As Roz fell asleep, we were leaving Calgary. It was flat, bright, unremarkable. Then she opened her eyes as we were nearing Banff and we were up in the clouds, jagged mountains poking romantically through the gaps, and misty, pointy trees as far as the eye could see. This was a landscape we'd never encountered before! So we dropped our bags at our hotel, walked into town, fueled up with tasty treats at the town bakery, and explored. The town of Banff is like a frontier town. It's set up as a supply post for people doing various outdoorsy things in the mountains, and it definitely has that vibe. Yet the people doing outdoorsy things tend to be quite well off, so the town's shops have evolved to cater to their desires. It's quite eclectic, and set on the banks of a brilliant turquoise river, in the shadow of some breathtakingly beautiful mountains. I can't remember ever being so impressed by scenery. 

On our first day, after terrifyingly investing in a can of bear spray, complete with instructions about what to do if a bear approached, we climbed Tunnel Mountain. The trail starts right from town and winds up a little mountain, with fantastic views. It was a perfect start to our holiday - and we were sure to loudly talk the whole way to deter the bears. (Not a chore for me!) After an excellent lunch in a fancy bistro back in town, we headed out on another walk, this one along the river to Bow Falls where we watched the water racing over the rocks as water also started falling from the sky. Out came the raincoats. Once the rain died down, we walked up to the Fairmont Hotel, which looks like a huge castle, and had afternoon tea (mmm scones). Very civilised! That evening we sampled the town's fancy schmancy vegetarian restaurant, Nourish, and it was extremely delicious. What a successful first day in Banff! 

The next day was cold and rainy - just the day for white water rafting! Hmmm... But we had pre-booked, so it was non-negotiable. We shivered during the safety briefing, eyeing the completely non-tempting Kicking Horse River. "It's 5 degrees C!" Our guide cheerily informed us... Luckily we were suited up in wetsuits and fleeces and raincoats and water shoes, so the prospect of getting splashed became slightly less horrifying - which was just as well as the rapids went up to Class 4! (For the uninitiated, this means very wavy indeed). It started off smoothly and we drifted along in this weird, drizzly, grey world of jagged mountains and strange rock formations called hoodoos and pointy tree forests... I felt I was in Lord of the Rings. Then there was no time to think as the rapids began in earnest and I had to occupy myself with paddling, clinging to the rope, and shrieking as I was entirely drenched. It was a lot of fun. 

Back in town, we walked home for a rare moment of reading, before it was time to hike up a big hill to the Banff Arts Centre. Which is perched above the town and is famous for its film festival in November. However tonight it was showing a special program of short films from last year's festival - very cool. After dinner in their restaurant, overlooking spectacular scenery, we enjoyed the films, about adventure sports, fittingly, before following the rest of the audience down the hill, through the woods, and back to town. 

On Sunday, we promised ourselves a rare and special treat: no alarm clock! In fact we almost missed breakfast, so long did we sleep, but luckily Roz sweet talked our way into some food, then we set out to Cave and Basin, the birthplace of Canada's National Parks, apparently, thanks to them finding hot springs - sadly no longer in use. But we went behind the springs and set off on quite a significant hike to Sundance Canyon. This was a pretty hike through the forest, and alongside waterfalls. Delightfully for me, our fear of bears meant that our walk was accompanied by my loud and tuneless rendition of the songs from Guys and Dolls. No bears appeared, so we celebrated with a delicious lunch back in the Cave and Basin cafe before logging onto wifi and admiring our new Jawbone pedometers' recording of our efforts... And then heading off to canoe! Other than our lack of skill with the canoe (mine perhaps extra-lacking), it was a glorious trip, up a little narrow forested waterway, popping out into Vermillion Lake, the mountains surrounding us on every side, birds flitting across the water... It was quite idyllic. After beers on our hotel's patio, we initially meant to have dinner in a new place... But then shamefacedly but delightedly found ourselves back in Nourish. Mmmm. 

Today it was another early start, to catch a bus to Sunshine Meadows. It was a happy coincidence that this was our first day of actual sunshine so the meadows could live up to their name. It's a ski resort in winter, but in summer has a 10km walking train that winds across meadows full of flowers, and past three sparkling lakes. It was an absolute delight - possibly the prettiest hike we've ever done! We also enjoyed lunch outside on the balcony afterwards, before heading back to town, where I was informed there is no rest for the wicked... And before  I knew what was happening, found myself back in a canoe, this time heading upriver. Another breathtakingly beautiful experience. Banff is really spectacular, and the canoeing was suitably idyllic. We're now back at the hotel, admiring the readings on our pedometers, coveting dinner, and preparing for an early morning start tomorrow. For a change...