In which Roz and Layla are enchanted by Tel Aviv

By Roz

We arrived into Tel Aviv and had a predictable phaff getting from the station to the hotel. Predictable, but made more exciting by the knowledge that the Sabbath was fast-approaching, at which point all public transport in Israel stops. However our angst turned out to be entirely unnecessary and we got to our hotel whilst the sun was still high in the sky. Which was all the better for admiring our hotel, which was a converted art deco movie theatre which had stills from old films on the walls and old projectors and such like dotted around. Delightful. We dumped our bags and then headed out to the beachfront, picking up an ice cream en route. We got to the beach just in time to see the sun set and it was very cheery meandering along the waterfront promenade, and seeing Tel Avivans frolicking in the early evening on bikes and skateboards and electric scooters, with dogs aplenty, and strolling arm in arm as the sun set over the water. It was a fantastic first experience - the city felt so alive and buzzy and, most of all, happy.

Back at our hotel for a delightful happy hour on the rooftop, we mused on our options for the evening. Tel Aviv is known for its fantastic food and we had a plethora of recommendations - as well as a ton of fabulous looking places next to our hotel. But neither of us had quite shaken off our illness and so weren't feeling properly hungry, and so we ended up resolving to go to see Wonder (the film of a book we both love) at a nearby cinema instead. It's a tragic day where McCampions shun food...The film was quite good - if not as good as the book - and afterwards we mused on whether to stop on for a pre-bed snack but ended up heading to bed.

Next morning we went to the hotel's excellent breakfast (though failed to do justice to it) before heading out into the sun to old Jaffa for a free walking tour by the same people who'd done the walking tour in Jerusalem. It was fun meandering around the hilly old port city, seeing where Napoleon and a plethora of others had stopped off. An added bonus was some delicious Arabic bread from the oldest bakery in the city... And then some ice cream and some delicious freshly squeezed jaffa orange juice. After the tour we were determined to have lunch - all this skipping meals was doing neither of us any good - and we stopped off in an old warehouse type place playing jazz for fava bean hummus and an avocado crostini which, if not quite what the doctor ordered, were very pleasant. After lunch we mooched down the oceanfront, stopping on a grassy spot to read our books (in my case) and to have a snooze (in Layla's). We then stumbled upon an old railway, which was hosting Tel Aviv's answer to a Christmas market (but with ice cream instead of mulled wine). Having pottered around that we then headed through the hipster White City/Florentin neighbourhood where there were an abundance of charming cafes with people sitting out on streetside tables, laughing and eating, and little galleries and other cool shops. Then we got to Rothschild's Boulevard, which is a massively famous avenue with a beautiful walking and cycling path down the middle. Tons of people had gathered for picnics and so it was jolly trying to eavesdrop on conversations (the ones which were in English) and to imagine life living in the city.

Nearly back at our hotel, we stopped for a couple of delicious and restorative cocktails and to read our books in a pleasant outdoor bar / cafe. Back in the hotel, we changed and then - triumphantly - went out for dinner. I say triumphantly because it was pretty much our only proper dinner of the trip... And fortunately it was delicious, Indian food in a delightfully hipster venue. After this triumph we headed back to our room to watch the Crown - not quite a triumphant end to the evening, but you can't have everything.

Next morning, after an early breakfast we headed out to catch a bus to Tel Aviv's answer to Central Park - Hayarkon Park. This proved delightful, and we enjoyed seeing jogging rabbis, courting couples and a large number of dog parks. It was much bigger than we had anticipated, so by the time we were back at the oceanfront, and turning for home we were almost out of time. However, we resisted the temptation to take a short cut and instead walked along the very jolly waterfront - this bit felt like Venice Beach, LA (but with many more children). We bemoaned the lack of time to go paddleboarding (though both secretly feeling glad of this because the water was quite rough), had a quick ice cream and then a speedy but delicious lunch in a pretty square near our hotel.

We wondered numerous times whilst in Tel Aviv what it is that makes it such an enchanting city. In the end we resolved that it was the combination of being a an ocean city, with a population who are very visibly keen to make the most of their city and to have a cheery time. Our tour guide on our first day in Tel Aviv quoted from a poem which said "there's something magic in the city". As we get ready to fly out of the city, that absolutely feels right.

In which Layla and Roz continue their walking cure in Haifa

By Layla

Next morning we awoke and mused that though not certainly not yet well, we were on the mend. We celebrated was tasty breakfast in our lovely hotel and then a walk down to the Old City of Jerusalem where we bought another ticket to walk the city walls but this time did the south circuit which gave different, fab views. The route eventually ended at the Western Wall. Since Google Maps was keen for us to walk in a certain direction, we soon found ourselves at the praying part of the Western Wall. Luckily we spotted a toilet and headed there instead, before weaving our way through men with large black hats and out into a little market. After we had our fill of the Old City, we walked back to the hotel via a bagel shop to stock up for lunch, and a cafe for a cup of tea, before picking up our bags and returning to Central Bus Station. This time, our destination was Haifa!

About two hours from Jerusalem, Haifa is a hilly city perched on the Mediterranean coast, north of Tel Aviv. It's most famous for its Bah'ai Gardens. Which we amusimgly failed to properly visit during our entire trip. We stayed downtown, in a serviced apartment surrounded by charming little restaurants and bars. We started out by walking to the German Colony, which is mostly a street with quaint old houses and views on the famous gardens. Not much to do though so we retreated to our own neighbourhood and a suitably hipster craft beer bar. Alas I didn't feel well enough for beer. But I did feel well enough for chips. Also popcorn an hour later when we took the bus to the cinema.

We hadn't started out with a plan to see the new Star Wars film in 4D but it was on at the right time, and soon we found ourselves stepping into special seats and making decisions about whether to turn water on or off with our armrest control pads. Luckily we ate our popcorn speedily because it was a bit like being on a rollercoaster. As the spaceships zoomed, it felt like we were moving with them, the wind in our hair... Frankly it made the whole movie ten times as fun/exciting/terrifying. The film was good and afterwards we headed to an outdoor restaurant for a quick pasta to share, then back to our apartment feeling pleased with ourselves for having had our most exciting Israel evening so far...

The next day I was up early, frantically googling. Roz had expressed interest in going to Roman ruins, so we'd planned a side trip from Haifa. But now she'd gone off the ruins and wanted to hike. We were near the Carmel Mountains, a hiking wonderland, though not a straightforward one. Eventually I found a link to a 4-hour hike from Haifa University and we took the bus up the mountain to get there. Then found the trail and started descending down down down to the valley (wadi) at the bottom of a cliff. As we clambered over rocks and slid down slopes, we mused that Israeli hikers were more hardcore than us... At one point Roz impaled her stomach on a branch. But we made it largely unscathed to the valley floor, and wound our way around a beautifully scenic part of the Carmel National Park. We halted for a picnic. Finally what comes down must go up, and we were presented with two sheer cliff faces, with little metal handholds attached. Time to ascend.

At this moment we would have been terrified/dazzled by our own intrepidness, were it not for the sudden appearance of six young children and their parents. After watching several 4-year olds zooming up the cliff face, we felt obliged to get on with it, exuding more suave confidence than the shrieks that were in our hearts...

We lost the trail at the very end and walked along the road back to a bus stop which conveyed us to a cake shop and we spent the rest of the afternoon refuelling with tea and apple pie and books. Then we took a cab back to our hotel (then a second cab after jumping out of the first one which took us in the wrong direction), and finished off our evening with a tasty Lebanese meal, and a viewing of The Crown on Netflix before bed.

Our last day in Haifa and we felt keen to hike again. So I found an urban hike, from Gan Ha'em Park to the sea, via Wadi Lotem. This was another great hike through nature and it was beautiful. We were sorry to pop out at the bottom, but after a little walking by a beachside park, Roz figured out how to tunnel under the train tracks, onto a lovely beachy walking path. But soon enough we had to catch the bus home. We proceeded to have lunch outside at one of the charming street restaurants, grabbing our bags, and heading to  the railway station to grab one of the last trains that run to Tel Aviv before the Sabbath! As I write this, the countryside is flashing past and we are excited for the last (but not least) leg of our Israel adventure. 

In which Layla and Roz try different medicinal cures in Israel

After three months in separate countries, Roz and I clearly needed a reuniting holiday, and we found it: less than 5 hours away, sunny weather, and great hiking, culture, history and food. Only two things stood between us and a glorious week in Israel: Donald Trump and the flu.

Mr Trump controversially declared Jerusalem the capital of Israel just days before we were due to arrive there, and the papers started to headline our intended holiday destination with words like 'unrest' and 'death'. The Foreign Office guidelines were specific: avoid all the areas we were planning to visit until 6am on Saturday morning. But we weren't arriving til Saturday evening. We could only hope the protestors would keep to a strict rioting schedule to facilitate our sightseeing... And as for the flu, Roz had already been extravagantly sick for days and had recently given it to me as a charming pre-Christmas gift. Frankly I don't recall having had a worse virus. I felt revolting. It did not make either of us the most beloved of aeroplane seat neighbours...

We arrived late into Jerususalem and had misguidedly booked a hotel near nothing. So we embarked on a mile-long dinner quest, wheezing and hacking-coughing our way along a pleasant street til we finally found a cool neighbourhood restaurant. We combatted our nausea with a pizza and salad (and free desserts!). Roz sampled her first Israeli wine. And then, shivering and coughing and sneezing, we made our way back to the hotel, musing that it may have been more sensible to stay at home, tucked up in bed. But we do love holidays, so that would have been no fun.

The next day, after a nice sleepless night, the sun was shining and it was time to head into the Old City. After checking the FCO advice, we entered cheerily and had a pleasant breakfast just inside Jaffa Gate before joining a Sandemans free walking tour. It was very cool - the Old City is all winding alleys and ancient streets and limestone buildings and bursting with atmosphere. We even got to see the wailing wall, aka Western Wall, and I had a shameful flashback to my trip here 17 years ago when I was taken to this wall and didn't know what it was.

After vIsiting the Armemian, Jewish and Muslim quarters (and taking every opportunity to sit/lie/semi-collapse with flu-ey exhaustion), we retired to a nice cafe for lunch. I managed a soup and was proud. Afterwards we bought tickets for the Old City Wall ramparts - we walked all the way along the top of the north wall which was brilliant and gave a beautiful view of the city. And it was only slightly challenging to climb up all these stairs with what felt like my last breaths...

We eventually got off the wall and walked to Damascus Gate to get a train back to our hotel with my memory of the FCO website saying 'whatever you do, avoid Damascus Gate', but all was fine and soon we were back and Roz made them give me some hot water for my Lemsip. Then it was a mere 20 min walk up a hill with a suitcase to Central Bus Station and we were off to the next stage of our Israel adventure: Ein Gedi. All sorts of adventure awaited at this Dead Sea oasis.

As the bus wove through streets in the dark, I noticed illumimated signs for all the FCO no-go areas. I checked our location on Google Maps. We were literally driving all the way through the West Bank. Oops. But all was fine other than some inevitable unwellness, and we were safely deposited at Ein Gedi Kibbutz Hotel, where we had a very satisfactory hummous, falafel etc dinner and headed off to bed for a nice night of sneezing and wheezing.

Which set us up well for an energetic day of fun. After breakfast we caught a bus to Masada, a famous hilltop fortress and the last Jewish holdout against the Romans. Luckily we were able to take a cablecar to the top. Then we walked around all the Roman ruins which were very cool and interesting, admired the brilliant views of the desert, the Dead Sea, and across to Jordan, and spent some time lying down on a bench... Before summoning all our remaining energy and hiking down the mountain along the 'snake path'. Which was beautiful and scenic and delightful, and we had it all mostly to ourselves.

We took a bus back to the hotel, grabbed our swimsuits, and then we were off to the Ein Gedi spa, aka swimming in the Dead Sea! In retrospect, my flu didn't really want me to strip down to a swimsuit, as it is still technically winter here, even if it is sunny and nice. Nor did it want me to hike a mile in said swimsuit to the Dead Sea and promptly get in, despite it being decidedly chilly. But I found myself on that trajectory anyway. When in Ein Gedi... The Dead Sea was brilliant. Far, far more salty than our Jordan experience (inexplicably!). And astoundingly beautiful scenery. We floated and Roz lent me her water shoes like a hero so I didn't have to hurt my feet on the salt crystals (as she then did). Of note: touching a very sore, flu-ey nose with salt water is not to be recommended.

After our float, we hopped on a weird shuttle bus/truck thing and were conveyed back to reception, and we spent the rest of our 'spa' experience in an alarmingly black but comfortingly warm sulphur bath.

Back at the hotel, we played Scrabble (I won), walked/sneezed through an exploration of the the Kibbutz and botanical gardens and many cats, had a rest, then had dinner and three thousand games of rummy (Roz won almost all) before we persuaded ourselves it was acceptable to go to bed. Thank goodness!

Our alarm was set for 6:45am today, a nice long lie for us holidaymakers. I awoke feeling marginally less awful than yesterday: hooray! Which was just as well as we were about to embark on five hours of hiking in the Ein Gedi reserve. Which is glorious. First we set out on a tour of Wadi David with a charming old man who has lived at the Kibbutz since the 60s. Then after winding our way through lots of lovely waterfalls, and seeing ibex and mountain rabbits, and soaring orange and white cliffs and lots of greenery, we left the group and headed off by ourselves, up and over a mountain, wheezing all the way. It was lovely. After eventually descending to the road, we'd planned to head back to the hotel but then I got cocky - I wasn't actually lying on the ground in a wheezing coughing mess. Thus maybe we should head to Wadi Arubot and do another 2 hour hike. It was completely amazing. Part of the hiking path was inside a river! It involved rock climbing up little waterfalls and knee-deep wading, again surrounded by soaring mountains and beautiful creek-side vegetation. It was beautiful and glorious and exciting. Though gorge walking was, in retrospect, not necessarily what the doctor ordered...

Eventually we got a taxi back to the hotel to dry off and have lunch, then caught a bus back to Jerusalem. Instead of the uninspiring hotel of a few days ago, we checked into the really delightful, arty Bezalel Hotel in the centre of town. After partaking of their excellent happy hour drinks and snacks and lighting of the first candle of Hanukkah, we spent the evening wandering in the lively market (more hipster than expected), and wide, jolly pedestrian streets lined with shops and restaurants. We finished up in Nocturne, a convivial restaurant near our hotel where we had a little dinner before heading home to bed. So far we are loving our Israel holiday. And it may be that our illness is turning a corner... For now, pass the decongestant tablets. I'm ready for our next adventures!

In which Roz and Layla do science and hiking in Sydney

By Roz.

We arrived in Sydney in the late afternoon, and hopped in an Uber to the cool arty flat in Paddington, which we’d stayed in last year, and then booked, again for this trip. It was delightful to be back, though more disappointing to discover that the four flights of stairs (no elevator) hadn’t reduced in the intervening year… We did a speedy unpack, an even speedier trip to the supermarket and then had a super-speedy dinner before dashing to the lovely Cinema Chauvel nearby to see what proved to be a very surprisingly charming Spanish film called Kiki Loves to Love.  I say surprisingly charming, since it was focused on sex (and films about sex are not usually charming).  Having been thoroughly delighted, we then headed over the road for a post film snack (well, what else can you call a plate of delicious brussel sprouts and a cheese board?) at a lovely wine bar called 10 William Street.  We felt delighted to be back in Sydney and in our old favorite neighborhood. 

Next morning after breakfast (notable for me having made the mad error of buying lactose-free milk in the supermarket the night before, an error that convinced me that I love lactose; a similar error in the past gave me the same knowledge about gluten), we headed on an expedition to the Royal National Park (which had been vigorously recommended to us by a couple of fellow travellers on the Uluru trip).  This felt like a commitment – we got first a lengthy train and then a ferry.  But both were entirely straightforward, and we enjoyed pottering round the excellent holiday town of Cronulla whilst waiting for the ferry (and imagining our lives in the unlikely eventuality that we were we to live there). The Royal National Park proved to be an amazing place, with a beautiful hiking route along the sea.  It felt both epic (with the huge landscape and glorious endless sea) and human-scale (with a number of “sights”, like Wedding Cake Rock, which kind of looks like a wedding cake if you look from the right angle).  We stopped to have a picnic in a beautiful spot overlooking the ocean, and then spent much of the rest of the hike regretting that we don’t live in Sydney with its glorious hiking options.  So we hiked up hill and down dale, before reluctantly concluding that we should probably turn around and head back to the ferry.  

On the train home Layla napped, whilst I began to muse on my autumn – since I’ll be living alone whilst Layla is in Hong Kong – and whether I should be thinking about taking a holiday alone or simply devoting myself to our lovely dog, Kaseki.  When Layla awoke she was somewhat discombobulated by my torrent of thinking (“Maybe I should go to Bhutan?  Or Taiwan?  Or China? Or marry Kaseki?”) as we walked home to change for the evening. 

Our destination that evening was the Power House Museum, for an art and science event which was part of Sydney’s Science Festival.   On arrival we were plied with sparkling wine, cheese and hummus and we quickly decided that we were big fans of the museum.  We looked at the line up of speakers and then realized that the first speaker was one of the people Layla works with, which was a cheery coincidence.  We stayed for the first half, after which Layla and I both got emails which promised potentially cheery developments for the future, which distracted us so much that we left the museum and headed to a cocktail bar to raise a glass to the future. 

Next morning we woke early-ish and Layla headed out to visit the work colleague who she’d briefly seen the night before, whilst I headed to Berkeluow’s, the delightful bookstore and coffee shop near our flat for coffee, ahead of a yoga class, at the delightful yoga studio near by.  Did I mention that Sydney in general and our neighborhood in particular are delightful?! We then met for lunch and had a general potter around the bookshop, before going to the cinema again, this time to see the fantastic film “Madame”.  We’d seen a trailer for it when we went to the cinema before, and been tempted – and again, we were both suspicious that the film was too quirky for much of a hope of it coming to Tokyo cinemas.  It lived up to the promise of its trailer, and was charming and heartbreaking and interesting.  After which we continued our pottering round the neighborhood’s shops and bought me a work dress in an overly posh charity shop. 

We then headed home to beautify ahead of dinner at an excellent Mexican restaurant and then a parlour magic show.  There’s an irony here, since I’m always trying to persuade Layla (and indeed any visiting guest) that we should go to a magic show in Tokyo (and the answer is always no).  However, when Layla offered me the option in Sydney, I leapt at the opportunity without teasing her about her change of heart.  To be honest, the magician wasn’t quite as excellent as some I’ve seen (including in Washington) but he was good, and I was suitably amazed a lot of the time.  And the venue was fun – a member’s club that was all wood paneling and snooty staff.  There was a fantastic moment where it looked like I might need to take a call whilst there and use a proper old-fashioned telephone booth (since cellphones are not allowed in the rest of the venue).  It’s the first time I’ve been disappointed when a call didn’t happen…  Afterwards we went for a cocktail in the beautiful Golden Age Cinema bar, which is very art deco and nice, before walking home to Paddington. 

The next morning should have been our last and so I woke up with dread in my heart as is appropriate when a holiday is ending.  Soon the dread solidified when I received a cryptic email from Qantas saying that there was a problem with the flight (but without saying what it was).  We eventually established that lots of flights, including ours, were being massively delayed because of a storm in Sydney (only bemusing since the sky was blue, and though it seemed a bit windy it wasn’t that bad!).  We found we couldn’t stay in our lovely AirBnB apartment,  so I booked us a hotel in town in which we left our luggage at and then continued on with our plans.  Which were to go for a hike from Taronga Zoo to Balmoral Beach. 

This was our favourite hike when we were in Sydney last time and so we felt very cheery as we hopped on the ferry and gazed at the fantastic views of the Opera House and the Bridge.  Our cheer dissipated when we started on our hike and saw a sign saying that the trail was closed.  However, a discussion with a fellow passing hiker made us decide to ignore the sign, and so we pressed on – with me at least feeling like a criminal.  It was just as beautiful a hike as we remembered, and the convenient and delicious lunch kiosk was still there as an added bonus.  When we got to the end of the hike, I wasn’t quite ready to be done with hiking, so persuaded Layla we should continue on along the beach.  This was lovely for a while, until we got to a bit which is only passable at low-tide.  And whilst it wasn’t high-tide, exactly, I was unconvinced that continuing on at medium-tide was a great idea – all the more so since the path was one of no-return (since the water was getting higher by the minute).  Precisely a year ago today, we ended up in a sticky situation, sinking more than knee-deep into mud flats during a stroll near Mt Fuji in Japan… and I felt that it was time to learn a lesson and not always go for the silly option.  So we returned along the beaches and then hopped on a convenient bus. And I’m proud to say we were considerably less caked in mud than was the case during the Mt Fuji bus ride…

It should have been time for us to head to the airport but with our plane cancelled, it was time for a final night in Sydney. Back in our hotel room we de-sanded and put on warmer clothes ahead of our evening’s fun.  First was a quick dinner in an excellent Thai restaurant. (an experience which we made unnecessarily stressful by trying to phone our airline to confirm the details of our very, very delayed flight – we were kept on hold for an hour, during which I developed a rash enthusiasm for a beer to accompany dinner in the BYO restaurant… which entailed me walking miles to find a store selling beer while Layla remained indefinitely on the phone. A doomed enterprise: they never did answer. Dinner done, it was time for our evening entertainment.  We’d failed to get tickets for the sold-out show we had wanted to see at the Opera House, but were able to book a differently excellent talk back at the Power House Museum.  This was by an engineer turned comedian who is currently one of the 100 people who have been shortlisted for the opportunity to be sent on a one-way trip to Mars in 2031.  I’ve quite often heard from people who’ve done exciting space things, but I’ve not heard a talk from someone who wants to do something exciting.  The different angle was interesting and he was an engaging speaker.  I definitely have no desire to join him and go to Mars, right enough… Afterwards we walked back to our hotel, stopping in yet another delightful cocktail bar in a charming little lane for cheese and a cocktail, to mark our unanticipated final night in Sydney. 

On what we hoped really would be our final Sydney morning, we were up early and determined to make the most of the blue sky before the long dreary daytime flight (which we’d intended to avoid originally by booking a night time flight).  So we headed to the Botanic Gardens and had a beautiful wander for almost a couple of hours through delightful lawns and flowers and coffeeshops… and a lovely harbourside walk where people were having a wedding, before heading back to the hotel to check out and head to the airport.  And now we really are on the plane back to Tokyo.  But my heart has been left behind in beautiful Australia, home to endless delicious vegetarian options, fantastic cinema and spoken word events, cocktails and unparalled hiking. 

Books read while on holiday

Roz: Miss Pym Disposes (Josephine Tey); 7/10, Judas (Amos Oz); 7/10, A Town Like Alice (Nevil Shute); 10/10, Tin Man (Sarah Winman); 10/10, The Man in the Brown Suit (Agatha Christie); 8/10, A Rising Man (Abir Mukherjee); 9/10… and painful progress on Roy's The Ministry of Happiness

Layla: How to Stop Time (Matt Haig); 3/5, The Unit (Ninni Holmqvist); 5/5; A Lovely Way to Burn (Louise Welsh); 3/5, A Town Like Alice (Nevil Shute); 5/5, Annihilation (Jeff VanderMeer); 3/5, The Rift (Nina Allan); 2/5, and started Tin Man (Sarah Winman).

In which Layla and Roz find out whether Alice Springs is a 'bonza town' as the book promised

By Layla

Having checked into our little motel, Roz and I stepped out onto the streets of Alice Springs to find out: was the book A Town Like Alice true? Was Alice really a ‘bonza town’? With both of us now re-reading the book which we’ve both loved for years, we were keen to find out.

The town is small and sweet and feels like a frontier town… and it was definitely not bustling on a Sunday night (though we were later to learn that Sunday is one of its most bustling nights!). We had food and drink at a cheery outdoor bar/restaurant called Monte’s (which had an inexplicable but jolly circus vibe), then walked down a dodgy road lined by homeless Aboriginal people, eventually reaching The Dust Bowl, the local bowling alley/karaoke venue. We bowled to the dulcet tones of some of the very worst singers in the history of karaoke (and one good one) before being kicked out at 8:30. According to Alice Springs, it was time for bed. (Side note from Roz: having been required to get up at 5am I was more than content with this.)

The next day, after breakfasting in our room and second-breakfasting in a cool little café called Epilogue (great yoghurt and fruit bowl!), we headed out on a 4km hike to Telegraph Hill, the raison d’etre for Alice Springs. It was the first telegraph station in the region, and part of a thrilling-sounding mission to link the whole of Australia to the UK, cutting communication times from months to hours. It must have felt like magic! The walk was hot and sunny and pretty, along a riverbed that only sees water a couple of times a year. And we were rewarded with an excellent café. It would have been rude not to have some banana bread before our tour of the telegraph station itself. Which was most interesting, and sad: the location was also used to house children with one Aboriginal parent and one white parent, known as the ‘stolen generation’ here.

After the tour we returned to the café for lunch, did a nice little hike through the outback, up Trig Hill, returned to the café for afternoon tea, and then, after essentially eating all the food in the café, returned home to our motel via another fantastic little hike. The scenery around Alice Springs is quite fabulous – they call it the ‘red centre’ of Australia and everywhere is red and dusty, but there’s a lot of vegetation, and some excitingly coloured birds and walking and biking trails everywhere. Such a treat!

But it was clearly time to try the biking aspect… so we hired mountain bikes and sneaked them into our motel room overnight. Our plan was to start early the next day to beat the heat.  (Side note from Roz: why does everyone want me to get up so early on holiday?) We had a lovely evening dining in a restaurant that was helpfully open (as opposed to most others on a Monday, it turned out!) and then at the delightful Alice Springs Cinema seeing The Big Sick which was charming and recommended (despite the unfortunate name…we later spent some time speculating on better names, our best of which was “Coma to Me”).

While we didn’t get up quite as early as planned (side note from Roz: hooray!), by 8:40am we’d had our breakfast, picked up lunchtime quiches, and were on the road. Our destination was Simpson’s Gap, named one of the best bike rides in Australia. Only problem was that it was 48km and I hadn’t been on a bike for ages. Ouch! But it was an amazing ride: beautiful outback scenery, perfect bike path through scrubby vegetation with not a car or another person for miles, and when we finally got to the end, a gap in the big red cliffs offered an unexpected blue water pool – and some rock wallabies for added excitement. We munched what was left of our quiches, and eyed the road home with some trepidation. But powered on by the quiche, and some extra water from a random and potentially dubious drinking water source along the route, and some beautiful scenery, I made it almost back to town before flagging extravagantly. At which point Roz spotted a café and saved the day with lemonade and ice cream. Hooray! That evening after I did a work call, we had delicious veggie burritos and returned to the lovely cinema to see Dunkirk (which I didn’t especially like but enjoyed seeing since it’s the film of the moment) before bedtime.

On our final morning in Alice Springs we walked down to the Olive Pink Botanical Gardens where we had breakfast drinks on a pretty patio, then did a short walk up a hill where we spotted wallabies, before heading back into town for some hipster halloumi sandwiches before it was time to catch our plane. Alice Springs was fantastic. But it’s goodbye to the heat: next stop Sydney!

In which Roz and Layla follow in the footsteps of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

by Roz

Next morning, we were up early for our flight to Uluru (Ayers Rock).  We’d havered about whether to go there or not – by the time we got around to arranging our plans, the hotels were all booked out, and the flights expensive.  But following pressure / encouragement on Facebook, we decided to go anyway and booked a glamping-ish tour. 

Arriving at the hotel where we were due to be picked up, I must confess I looked enviously at the people headed to their nice comfy rooms.  All the more so when I found that there was a supermarket on the grounds of the hotel complex that is better stocked with options than our local Tokyo supermarket.  It was the plethora of vegetarian sausages that nearly made me weep… However, we stocked up on supplies for the trip (unnecessarily) and ate the amazingly delicious airport lunch we’d picked up in Melbourne and awaited our tour guide.  He soon turned up – a large man, brandishing the bushy beard that seems to be ubiquitous for men in these parts – and we got on board our van and met the rest of our tour group as we drove to our first stop.

Usually first stops are not that much fun.  But this one was – a hike through a place called Kata Tjuta (previously known as the Olgas), which are a group of large domed rocks.  They are huge and red, and massively remote. In some ways, it felt like the landscape had been sculpted by giants – not least when we came across a huge cliff that looked like an elephant’s head.  This took up most of the afternoon and we were only persuaded to stop lingering by our tour guide promising us a sunset view of Uluru and some sparkling wine.  Well, that and that five-year old girl on our tour who put us both to shame, overtaking us with her speedy hiking…

It was a short ride to our second stop, to see Uluru at sunset.  Usually neither Layla nor I are that mad on sunrises / sunsets, but to be fair, the sun made the rock glow magnificently (and the sparkling wine and cheese was a very pleasant addition too).  More disconcertingly, we found one of our other tour group members was from Tokyo and both of us felt simultaneously compelled to be friendly and horrified by the thought of speaking Japanese…

After the sun had set, we headed to our camp for the night.  Disappointingly this proved not to have a four-poster bed (as regular readers of this blog will remember we had in the Jordanian desert) but was nonetheless perfectly adequate.  The two of us embarrassed ourselves horribly over our excitement at the vegetarian sausages, tofu and halloumi experience which was dinner, and had a lovely time. (Side note from Layla – Roz also embarrassed herself getting lost en route home from the bathrooms in dingo country, necessitating my going to rescue her in my pyjamas).

Next morning we were up at the horrible hour of 5am, ahead of an early departure to walk around the base of Uluru for sunrise.  (Layla and I really must get more enthusiastic about sunrises, or else stop booking this kind of tour!)  The walk itself was fantastic.  6 miles-ish, flat, pretty deserted and with Uluru looking amazing in the changing morning light.  We even agreed a 5am start was worth it… (Side note from Layla – it would have looked perfectly nice an hour later.)

After we’d made it round, and rewarded ourselves with a snack, we were then taken on a smaller hike with an Aboriginal tour guide, who taught us something of the history of the area and the stories that they read in the stones.  This was differently fantastic.  After this we headed back to camp for lunch (also vegetarian heaven) before getting on the bus for a disappointingly long time to our next campsite.  However, I consoled myself by listening to a book, whilst Layla read A Town Like Alice (by Nevil Shute) which had inspired part of this trip.  And it’s always fun to see her sniveling over a story of a female town-planning pioneer.

Dinner was – you guessed it – great again.  Same cook, same enthusiasm for treating vegetarians nicely.  Hooray.  Our guide then took us out for a walk into the bush for some star gazing.  I don’t think I’ve seen stars quite like this before.  It felt as though I’d walked into a planetarium and that I was looking at a fake version of what the sky ought to look like.  I’d love to tell you that I was so inspired by how beautiful the stars were (which I was) that I decided to grab a sleeping bag and sleep on the ground so I could look at the stars properly.  But I can’t.  I’m sorry, but I just like being in a bed too much…and I’m afeard of dingos.  We then sat around the campfire and roasted marshmallows before bed at the shockingly late hour of 9pm. 

The following morning was another early start, this time to facilitate a hike round the rim of the King’s Canyon.  The start of this trail was the inauspiciously named “Heart Attack Hill”.  Fortunately none of us were much the worse by the time we had climbed it, and after that it was an amazingly beautiful walk atop the red sandstone cliffs around the perimeter of the canyon.  I find it hard to describe how lovely it was – suffice to say that it’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been.  The scale was amazing, the colours spectacular – and it was almost empty.  We paused by a watering hole called the Garden of Eden and ate an apple, as is only appropriate.  And we regretted that (unlike many of the other participants in the tour) neither of us remembered Priscilla Queen of the Desert well enough to emulate the iconic scenic poses by the three protagonists hiking around the canyon in drag. 

At the end of this beautiful walk, we headed back to the car park and then began the long journey back to Alice Springs.  A journey that was enhanced by seeing my first ever kangaroo, pictures of our dog Kaseki sent through by his lovely temporary family whilst we are on holiday, my audio book, and our game of Scrabble.  We rolled into Alice Springs that evening in a very cheery mood, entirely ready to enjoy the “bonza” town that we’ve both read about in the lovely book A Town Like Alice.