In which Layla and Roz meet Stumptown leprechauns and Layla is a sporting goddess

By Layla

I have but one childhood memory of Oregon: that old educational computer game The Oregon Trail. By the time I arrived in Portland Oregon on Wednesday, I felt I'd pretty much traveled that whole trail, though instead of carts I had planes, and instead of going via the MidWest I went via London to sit an exam. By the time I arrived downtown, nearly 24 hours after I awoke that morning, I felt I'd traversed some major geography!

The first of my two days in Portland don't count. That's because Roz was there for work, and I was doing consulting work in the hotel room, so fun was not on the cards. Though come evening time, we managed to steal a little pre-holiday fun, strolling to the cool and attractive Pearl District near downtown to eat at Andina, a stellar Peruvian restaurant with a special vegetarian menu and Oba, a delicious Mexican restaurant, to pop into Powells, America's largest bookshop, and to watch Chinese Puzzle, a French film set in New York, at the very lovely Living Room cinema. We weren't on holiday yet... But our sneak peaks told us that Portland is cool, attractive, quirky, and is going to be brilliant. 

On Friday, we finished our respective work, then glanced at each other in excitement: our week-long Portland vacation was here! We celebrated with healthy and delicious Indian food in a yoga studio (very Portland), before traveling away from touristed downtown to our home for the next week: the heart of the Hawthorne District. Our little AirBnB apartment is charming and in a really cool location. We immediately went grocery shopping like locals, pressed our noses up agains the window of a local branch of Powells and thought: oh yes, we could live here. That night we strolled down Hawthorne Street, past a thousand fabulous-looking restaurants, to a show at the Helium Comedy Club and reveled in this cool, quirky, friendly city full of quirky things to do. And finished the night with Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Because life is delightful. 

The following day, after a morning coffee in Powells and an embarrassing level of transport/mobile nerdery (you can buy week-passes on your phone and the app holds your ticket - which indeed we did), we caught the bus into town. After a stroll around the waterfront Saturday Market (where I bought a ring for Roz) we proceeded to the bike shop. In an effort to officially transform Work Portland into Holiday Portland, we had booked a bike tour of the local wineries. This was lots of fun. We drove into the suburban countryside and then pedaled along past various fields and grapevines and cows to three different vineyards where we partook in wine tasting. Oregon is known for its Pinot noir wines, so we sampled lots of them. It was an odd little trip: not really the bucolic vistas one expects of wine tours, but rather semi-suburban fields. It was still fun though, especially when one of the vineyards brought out the cheese!

We headed home for dinner, and then on a nearly hour-long bus to North Portland because going to normal tourist hotspots is not what you have come to expect of us. No no, we were headed into the wilds, to an arts venue called Disjecta where Roz had identified a storytelling show called Russian Roulette, where storytellers spin a wheel to be given a story topic which they have to prepare in just 5 minutes, then perform. I had serious misgivings as we walked up the dodgy street, suspecting we might be the only audience members. But when we got there, Roz was exceptionally smug: it was sold out! The show was fantastic - I loved the format. And the beer (Portland has the most craft breweries in the country and is obsessed by its beers). And the pizza. Ahem... Afterwards we caught a bus back to civilization, along with an array of late night Portland party-goers, and sneaked home to bed. 

It is always disheartening to be met with rain and chill on holiday. And yet that was yesterday's offering. Portland is known for its raininess but still, we felt cheated. Roz started the day with a local yoga class, then we caught a bus downtown, raincoats in hand, for some superlative coffee and the Secrets of Portlandia free walking tour. I loved this tour, even though parts of it were executed in torrential rain... We walked all over downtown while our tour guide explained why Portland is unique, and claims the title 'weird'. Some highlights: Portland is called Stumptown because when it was founded they cut down lots of trees but couldn't get rid of the stumps so they were all over town. Portland invented the world naked bike ride. Portland had America's first female police officer. And over half of Portland businesses are owned by women. The town is full of cute drinking fountains called Benson Bubblers as a cool public health intervention by Mr Benson, an early factory owner who realized his workers kept chopping off their fingers more on hot days - because they were hydrating with beer! When hawks made their nest in a skyscraper balcony and the office workers tried to remove them, the people of Portland had the balcony officially designated a National Park. Portland was nearly called Boston - it was decided with a coin flip. The smallest 'park' in the world is in Portland and people follow the adventures of the leprechaun who lives there. Portland's impressive environmental strategies. All fun stuff. Afterwards we retired for a really excellent brunch at Mother's Bistro and then, eyeing the rain and shivering, acquired a jacket for Roz in good old fashioned Roz-and-Layla-bring-the-wrong-clothes-on-holiday style...

I'd wanted to go strolling in Portland's famous rose garden, or the Japanese garden, but the torrential rain suggested this plan may have its flaws... So instead we proceeded to Glowing Greens, a crazy indoor minigolf extravaganza on the theme of pirate skeletons... All in blacklight with ultraviolet glowing stuff. Bizarre. We grabbed our putters and had a cheery time trying to beat each other. For the record, ladies and gentlemen: I am the champion of dead pirate UV minigolf. 

After Roz recovered from her tragic defeat on the last hole, we grabbed some dinner at the Laughing Planet, enjoying the trademark Portland healthy/organic offerings, and then to a beautiful and huge theatre to see the musical Once. Which Roz loved. I was less enamored... But it was a lovely night out. On our way home, we popped into the Baghdad cinema, a converted old theatre, and settled into the Backstage Bar. This is very cool: set in the old backstage area of the theatre with high ceilings, big curtains, and suchlike. Also games: we paired our beverages with that quintessential American sport: shuffleboard. I am proud to announce I am not bad at shuffleboard. This was a day of sporting triumph for me indeed. Next step: the Olympics. We walked the 3 minutes home from the bar afterwards, resolving not to mention that late night plate of fries we demolished... And so to bed, with the prospect of more rain on our planned outdoorsy holiday. Last time this happened we were in Georgia and flew to the Ukraine in search of sun. Perhaps not this time... Apparently the sun'll come out tomorrow (betcha bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun).